After my divorce, I found myself looking for help with emotional healing by choosing two of the more unhealthy options: drinking and sleeping around. Don’t get me wrong. Both of these activities were fun at the time and gave me an outlet to explore new feelings. However, in retrospect, I probably could have done with some therapy and alone time.
In the decades since my divorce, I’ve learned new skills to support my emotional processing. With the hope of providing you with some better choices, we’ve gathered eight of the most effective tools (scientifically tested1, no less2!) to aid you when navigating your own journey. Feel free to use as many of these as you need. Mixing and matching is encouraged.
Tools for emotional healing…
Community service: Being part of something larger than yourself can remind you about the bigger picture and distract you from your divorce drama. Volunteering your time for a cause you care about or for those less fortunate changes your perspective dramatically and is actually good for your health. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re serving others.
Bodywork: In ways similar to breathwork, bodywork allows you to get back into your body, connecting feelings and emotions with where they’re coming up for you. Women often store stress in our neck, shoulders, and hips, so expect intensity when those areas are targeted. But the healing power of touch is real, and when you’re in the hands of a talented healer, you’ll feel the difference.
Therapy: A good therapist can provide guidance in navigating all the challenges that can arise after a divorce, along with illuminating the patterns you may have missed. It’s healthy to be curious about yourself and to ask questions about your behavior. Reflecting on what you’ve learned through this process as well as digging into what may have caused problems in your marriage, are just a few of the many benefits a therapist offers.
Sleep: Nothing beats a good night of sleep. Waking refreshed and ready to take on the day can make all the difference, regardless of what you might be dealing with in the aftermath of your divorce. When you make sleep a priority, you’ll notice it.
Journaling: You already know how much we love journaling, but we don’t mind repeating it. Having a safe place where you can pour out your heart, your fears, your doubts and your dreams is a must during this time. A journal will never judge you, and it’s often easier to write about our emotions before we actually put them in words to share with someone else.
Friends: Having the support of those you know and love is important even when things are going well. But during a time of stress and transition, like after a divorce, your friends become even more crucial.
Movement: We believe that regular movement can cure just about anything. Whether it’s group classes, going for a walk, or dancing in your kitchen, the more you can infuse your life with movement, the more you open yourself up to the possibility of joy. Don’t be nervous about trying something new either.
Self-compassion: Remember to go easy on yourself during this time. A divorce is a difficult time, so practice being kind to yourself. Try talking to yourself as a good friend would or reminding yourself of how far you’ve come. You deserve to treat yourself well, and a little compassion can go a long way.
Let us know which of these have been of help to you and what tools we may have forgotten!
- https://sleep.hms.harvard.edu/education-training/public-education/sleep-and-health-education-program/sleep-health-education-87 ↩︎
- https://biomedgrid.com/fulltext/volume1/emotional-core-therapy-is-scientifically-proven-to-be-the-most-effective-psychology-approach-available-worldwide-to-treat-anxiety.ID.000520.php ↩︎
