Doing things for yourself and on your own can be scary. Maybe you’re getting out of a marriage that you’ve been in for a long time and the thought of trying new things, figuring out how to do things you’ve never had to do, seems daunting. Which it can be – but it can also be exciting and fun, especially if you embrace the opportunity to reframe or reset how things are done.
If you don’t consider yourself handy, then having to take care of your living space or do repairs might instill some fear. However, there are so many opportunities for growth when you’re on your own, if you’re okay sitting with the discomfort of it. Also, if things get really bad, there’s always the option to outsource. Asking, or even paying, for help is another valuable lesson of being on your own.
Being okay on your own is a journey. It starts by relying on yourself, trusting yourself and knowing that you don’t need anyone else. After a divorce, this might seem harder to believe. Remind yourself that it’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone. You are your own best company.
Other ways to be on your own:
Take yourself out for a date. Whether it’s dinner for one or an art date by yourself, spend the money and enjoy your own company. Bring a book if you need a prop, and soak in the silence and the ability to eavesdrop on everyone sitting around you.
Book a solo adventure. Travel someplace on your own. If you’re not comfortable with that, find a group tour to where you want to go and sign up by yourself. That way, logistical details are covered and it’s up to you whether you want to make friends with others or enjoy the time alone.
See a movie solo. This is an excellent first step into alone time as no one should be talking in the movie theater anyway, so going by yourself and not talking to anyone is perfect. Watching a film by myself is such a treat – I can ugly cry and I don’t have to share any of the sweets I bought.
Find places that make you feel small and connected to something bigger. Maybe that’s nature or a church or a concert but if you can find your people and tap into the larger universe, you’ll realize that you’re not really on your own, as much as you might feel that way.
Practice being with your aloneness. It gets easier and once you begin to enjoy your own company, you’ll be making me-time a priority.
How do you feel about being on your own? Any tips for more fully embracing it?
