Those women of a certain age will understand the need for permission – to be told that it’s okay to feel the way we do, to want what we want and to want more. Many of us grew up wanting to please our teachers, to please our parents, and to do what was expected. We were told that if we followed a certain set of rules we would be allowed in. As it turns out, the systems doing that gatekeeping are not run by women and rarely are encouraging.
Do you need someone to say it’s alright to wear that crop top? Because most fashion magazines wouldn’t advise it for someone your age and yet, if you want to wear the crop top, then by all means, let yourself do it.
You have permission to feel all the things. You don’t need anyone to weigh in. You can let yourself experience the divorce and all the complex feelings it brings up. Grief can take different forms in people so be open to all the ways that it might show up. It’s also okay to feel joy during this time, so remember to allow the good feelings in as well.
We want someone else to tell us that it’s okay to feel a certain way or to do something. Post-divorce however, we need to rock up to the realization that there’s only one person who can give us permission to do and feel all the things and that one person is the person looking back at us in the mirror. Once that begins to seep in, we start to wonder where else in our life we can begin to expand.
You have permission to fail and permission to succeed. Many of us grew up in families where failure was something that was held over us, or used as a joke, or constantly brought up as a reminder of what happened when we tried new things. No one else? Giving yourself permission to fail, and to realize that with each failure comes learning and opportunity for growth. On the flip side, remember to give yourself permission to succeed. We hold ourselves back without realizing it. What if everything went better than expected?
If you’re waiting for someone to tell you to go for it, you now have permission. You’re welcome.
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